MC Soro-Soro Laff & Relax Ticket Now Selling


MC Soro-Soro Laff & Relax Ticket Now Selling 

Laff & Relax is a comedy extra event to trill and make you relax with special performances from actors [Nollywood Stars], comedians and musicians.

Featuring Artistes:
1. MC Soro-Soro
2. Dauda
3. Charles Inojie
4. MC Obeliefe
5. MC Shakara
6. Forever
7. Eboh-Bomb
8. Omo Nla Wap TV
9. D Wyze Won
10. Bobo Shakira
11. Still Ringing
12. Elder O
13. MC Paparazzy
14. Dr. Magic
15. Capela

 


A collection of funny tree jokes, puns, and stories, as well as humor about trees, forests, nature, and the environment.

How do trees access the internet?
They log on.

What did the tree do when the bank closed?
It started its own branch.

Why did the pine tree get in trouble?
Because it was being knotty.

What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party?
Swimming trunks!

Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn?
In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

What did Betula pendula say to her super-annoying sister?
Leaf me alone, birch!

Did you know that I can cut down a dead tree just by looking at it?
It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes!

What type of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.

How do you properly identify a dogwood tree?
By the bark!

What did the beaver say to the tree?
It’s been nice gnawing you!

Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school.

Why do trees make great thieves?
Sticky fingers.

What is a triangle palm’s favorite school subject?
Treegonometree.

Why can’t the lonely evergreen stop thinking about high school?
She’s still pining to be one of the poplar kids.

What is every single tree’s least favorite month?
SepTIMMMBERRR!

Why do trees hate tests?
Because they get stumped by the questions.

What must trees drink responsibly?
Root beer.

A snare drum and a crash symbol fell out of a tree.
*BA-DUM TSSSHH*

What kind of trees do you get when you plant kisses?
Tulips.

Why can’t Christmas trees sew?
They always drop their needles.

Did you know that before you became my best friend, I used to hang out with another girl every single day in her super awesome tree house?
It’s true, but unfortunately we had a falling-out.

What tree produces fruit that tastes like chicken?
Poultree.

Why are leaves always involved in risky business?
Because they constantly have to go out on a limb.

How did the idiot get hurt while raking leaves?
Fell out of the tree.

What do you give to a sick citrus tree?
Lemon aid.

Did you hear about the big corporation that’s making syrup from supposedly contaminated trees?
They maple their brand off the shelves.

Why is the tulip the state tree of Indiana, Kentucky, and Tennessee?
Because they are so poplar.

Now we want to see your best tree jokes! So, what’s your favorite joke about trees, being in the woods, or gardening? Send your tree jokes to us via email if you’d like to see them featured here.

mcsorosoro@gmail.com, mcsorosoro@yahoo.com


Q: When should you buy a bird?
A: When it’s going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody the Wood Pickle.

Q: There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?
A: Roosters don’t lay eggs!

Q: Why did the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke the law of gravity!

Q: What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s?
A: A funky chicken.

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!

Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame bird?
A: The tame way, unique up on it!

Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With its sparrowchute.

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment.

Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

Q: How did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: On the bottom of the chicken’s foot!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A: He was a dirty double crosser!

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don’t know the words.

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got caught peeping on a test.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
A: To get to the other size!

Q: Why do ducks fly south?
A: Because it’s too far to walk!

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

There was a duck who walked into a store and said, “got any candy?” The storekeeper said, “no, we don’t.” The next day, the duck went into the same store and asked the same thing and got the same anwer. The duck kept going back every day for a week and asked the same thing and kept getting the same answer until the store keeper got so angry he said, “if you come in here and ask that again, I will hit you on the head with a hammer!” The next day, the duck walks into the store and asks, “got a hammer?” The store keeper says, “no.” Then the duck asks, “got any candy?”

Q: What does a cat call a hummingbird?
A: Fast food.

Q: What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
A: He was catching all the chickens!

Q: How do chickens get strong?
A: Egg-cersize.

Q: How do crows stick together in a flock?
A: Velcrow.

Q: What did one egg say to the other egg?
A: Let’s get crackin’!

Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers.

Q: Why didn’t the rooster cross the road?
A: Because it was chicken.

Q: What robs you while you’re in the bathtub?
A: A robber ducky.

Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
A: Because they kept saying “bach bach”!

Q: How did the egg cross the road?
A: It scrambled across!

Q: What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A: A polygon

Q: What do you call a sad bird?
A: A bluebird!

Q: Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
A: So he could grade his eggs.

Q: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A: Owlgebra
Akpors and Father at Graduation Ceremony
Akpors’ father accompanied him to his school end-of-year awards party.
As they sat watching amidst loud ovations, the beneficiaries were called to the podium for
their awards.

The following conversation ensued:

Announcer: Best student in sciences, the winner is Inem.
Father: (Applauds and eyes Akpors scornfully) See correct children!
Announcer: Best student in commercial studies; the winner is Ajoke.
Father: (Hisses and eyes Akpors) See correct children.
Announcer: Best student in
Arts and the winner is Helen.
Father: (fuming with anger)
See correct children!!.
And so, all the awards were presented without any going to Akpors.
At the end of the event, they left and went to the car park but as his dad got ready to
start the car, the engine refused to respond.
He opened the bonnet and touched a few things but his efforts did not yield any
response so they resorted to pushing it. Just as they got to the exitof the
school, the rickety car sparked up.
Exhausted and profusely sweating, Akpors rested on the gate just as his mates were
driving off with their parents in Hummer, Jeep, Sequia, Infinity, Escalade, Bentley,
Lincoln Navigator, Range Rover and other exotic cars.
All of a sudden, Akpors burst into laughter. His puzzled father
asked,’what’s so funny?’

Amidst teary eyes, Akpors responded, ‘SEE CORRECT FATHERS!’.



Laff out loud naija!

Below is how Nigerian Churches will become in 2030:


PASTOR: Praise the Lord.

CONGREGATION: Halleluyah!

PASTOR: Can we please turn our iPads and Kindle
Bibles to Exodus 20:1. When you’re done, kindly
switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon…
Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now
collect tithes and offering. You can connect to the
church WIFI using password Lord99087 and as for
the renovation donations, you’re welcome to
contribute via EFT or mobile banking. The holy
atmosphere is truly electric as the iPads beep and
flicker.

CHURCH SECRETARY: This week’s meetings will be
held on the various Whatsapp groups so please don’t
miss out! Wednesday Bible teachings will be held live
on Skype @1900hrsGMT. By the way, you may follow
the Pastor on Twitter for counseling and don’t forget
our weekly prayers on YouTube. God bless You All.
Congregation: Amen

Mr. Akpos had just been hired as the new managing director of a large high tech London-based corporation. The Managing Director who was stepping down, met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said.

Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Akpos was really catching a lot of heat. After he had done everything he could and still was still not improving, he remembered the envelopes.

He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, “Blame your predecessor.” Akpos called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous MD. Satisfied with his comments, the press – and The City responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, Akpos quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganise.” This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company again fell on difficult times.
Akpos went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said: “Prepare three envelopes.”
Read the caption on this image carefully



A conversation between Sergeant Akpos and his superior Commanding Officer:
Commanding Officer: Sergeant Akpos!
Akpos: Yes Saah!
Commanding Officer: Are you ready to fight for your country?
Akpos: Yes saaah!!
Commanding Officer: Are you ready to die for you country?
Akpos: Yes Saaaaaaah!!!
Commanding Officer : We are transferring you from Lagos to Borno State to tackle Boko Haram.
Akpos: I retire sah!